When Dads Struggle Too: Understanding Male Postpartum Depression

When we talk about postpartum depression, the conversation usually centers around mothers. And while we certainly want to increase awareness surrounding this condition in moms, we also want families to be aware of another, even lesser-known phenomenon: male postpartum depression.

The transition to fatherhood brings profound changes — practically, emotionally, even hormonally. At times, these changes lead to a type of imbalance that moves beyond the typical adjustments involved in welcoming a new baby into your lives.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with many new parents, I’ve seen firsthand how male postpartum depression affects not just dads, but entire family systems.

Can Men Really Experience Postpartum Depression?

Absolutely. Male postpartum depression, also called male postnatal depression, is more common than most people realize.

Current research estimates approximately 10% of fathers experience postpartum depression after their child is born. And when mom is diagnosed with postpartum depression, the likelihood of dad experiencing it jumps to around 50%.

However, these statistics only represent men who disclose their struggles and seek help. The actual number may be much higher.

Recognizing the Signs: What Male Postpartum Depression Actually Looks Like

Both moms and dads commonly experience an adjustment period — often referred to as “baby blues” — after the birth of their baby. While the sleep loss, stress, and even overwhelm of this period can be challenging, they’re normal parts of early parenthood. So how do we differentiate between these normal challenges and postpartum depression?

Healthcare providers commonly use the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale to assess postpartum depression in both moms and dads, but it’s not a perfect tool. As therapists, we have to look at the broader context.

The symptoms of male postpartum depression often look quite different from those of female postpartum depression, and they may show up at different times. At first, symptoms may mirror what we commonly see in mothers: overwhelm, detachment, and reluctance to bond with the baby or engage in new parental tasks. But as time goes on, distinct differences emerge.

Symptoms of Male Postpartum Depression

Men with postpartum depression may not cry or openly express sadness. In fact, their symptoms may look like productivity and healthy coping — for a while. This might include:

• Working excessive hours
• Staying away from home and avoiding the baby
• Becoming disengaged from the family unit
• Throwing themselves into hobbies or activities to an unhealthy degree

Most of these behaviors aren’t overtly alarming, but when they disrupt normal routines and pull dad away from connection in the family, they’re worth paying attention to. When you peek behind the curtain, they can represent a departure from a healthy baseline and deeper emotional distress.

The Timing of Male Postpartum Depression

One challenging aspect of identifying male postpartum depression is what I call the “teeter-totter effect.” Often, dads will hold everything together while mom is recovering and adjusting, often being incredibly strong and supportive. Then, after mom starts feeling better and sleep improves, dad’s symptoms begin to emerge.

This timing means male postpartum depression is easy to miss. Though symptoms can show up earlier, male postpartum depression can make itself known up to a year later, when the connection with birth is less obvious. Unfortunately, this often leads to dads struggling with symptoms for an extended period, sometimes looking back and feeling that they missed their child’s entire first year — something we want to prevent!

What Causes Male Postpartum Depression?

Many factors contribute to male postpartum depression. Often, it’s a perfect storm of stress, identity shifts, and unresolved emotions. Common risk factors include:

• Financial Pressure: The responsibility to provide for the family can feel immense, especially in cultures where this expectation rests primarily on men.
• Past Paternal Relationships: Whether present or absent, a man’s relationship with his own father or father figure often shapes how he views fatherhood.
• Childhood Experiences: If a man had disengaged or emotionally distant parents, he may feel uncertainty about stepping into a nurturing role.
• Hormonal Changes: Yes, men experience hormonal shifts after the birth of a child too! If these don’t regulate within a few weeks, they can contribute to emotional imbalance.
• Birth Trauma: A difficult or traumatic birth experience can have lasting emotional effects on dads, even if not immediately apparent.
• First-Time Fatherhood: For dads who have little or no experience with babies, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or out of their depth. That alone can be a major source of stress.
• Previous Diagnosis: A previous diagnosis of male postpartum depression slightly increases your risk after future births. However, the experience you gained in raising your older children may actually ease the transition and counterbalance this risk.

How to Prevent Male Postpartum Depression

The best prevention is intentional connection and preparation. Here are a few ways dads can reduce their risk:

Start Bonding Early

I encourage dads to start the bonding process during pregnancy — attending appointments, seeing ultrasounds, feeling baby’s movements, hearing the heartbeat. This creates a much longer, easier on-ramp for the bonding process once baby arrives.

Address Your Own Parenting History

For dads who have a complicated past with their parents, whether that’s due to loss, absence, or the nature of the relationship, I encourage them to consider how those experiences affect their own view of fatherhood. Reflection and even counseling are valuable tools here.

Stay in the Present

Men often view fatherhood through what I call a “long-term legacy lens.” While moms often focus on the immediate — picking out onesies, decorating the nursery — dads may already be thinking about college scholarships and future life paths. This 30,000-foot view can be helpful in some ways, but it’s also overwhelming.

Learning to stay grounded in the present moment is crucial. Nobody needs to solve all of tomorrow’s problems today, and trying to do so can lead to disengagement from the incredible season happening right now.

Build Community

Friendship and community with other dads is huge. Having men who understand the unique challenges and joys of fatherhood provides invaluable support and perspective.

Male Postpartum Depression: How and When to Get Help

Here’s what I want every dad to know: Male postpartum depression isn’t a weakness, it’s 100% treatable, and help is available.

If you’re having a hard time, you don’t have to wait for a formal diagnosis to talk to someone. Counseling can help with everything from time management to stress to anger to full-blown depression.

In my practice, I work with both moms and dads in person and online to navigate the postpartum period. Alternatively, Postpartum Support International offers extensive resources for dads (and moms) experiencing postpartum depression, including free hotlines, live chats, and virtual support groups.

Remember, you are worthy of care, support, and time, and you’re a crucial part of your family. Don’t be ashamed to take advantage of resources that help you to stay present, healthy, and thriving.