How to Hold a Baby: A Midwife’s Guide for Every Stage
One common question I hear from new parents and family members is, How do I hold a baby correctly?
It’s a natural concern — babies are so small and vulnerable, and they’re brand new to this world. We want to make sure they’re protected and comfortable, even in the way we hold them.
As a certified nurse-midwife, I’d like to share my expertise on how to hold a baby at each stage, different types of holds, and safety tips to keep in mind so you can enjoy all those precious moments together with confidence.
How to Hold a Baby at Each Stage
Babies grow and develop rapidly, so holding a newborn is a very different experience from holding a ten-month-old. Let’s look at considerations for how to hold a baby in three major stages of development:
Newborns and Young Infants
The most critical rule for how to hold a baby during this earliest stage is simple: Always support the head. Newborns lack the neck strength to support their own heads, and a lolling head could cause them injury. At this stage, they depend on your gentle, constant support.
For this reason, when passing a newborn to someone else, don’t pick your baby up under their arms. Instead, I suggest keeping one hand supporting their bottom and one supporting their head. Be sure the person receiving baby knows to do so as well.
At this stage, always be mindful of the soft spots on their head as well (more on that below!).
Increasing Core Strength
Usually by four months or so, your baby’s core strength noticeably increases. You’ll start to see them trying to sit up and hold their heads more steadily. At this point, you won’t have to “guard” their head quite as much, though you should still give them gentle support.
Independent Head
When your baby develops a fully independent head — typically around six months — you have more freedom in how you carry them. For example, this is when you can start carrying them on your hip (see below).
How to Hold a Baby: Top 7 Positions
The following are positions I frequently teach parents or family members who are learning how to hold a baby. Babywearing, which we’ve discussed in another post, can also be an excellent strategy, especially after you recover from labor and want to be more mobile.
Cross-Cradle Hold
This iconic hold is a classic for a reason: It’s safe, comfortable, and intuitive. For this hold, you rest your baby’s head in the crook of your arm and cradle their body with your other arm near your belly. This is an excellent position for newborns because of its built-in head support, and it’s convenient for breastfeeding too.
Football Hold
Also great for newborns, the football hold is probably my favorite way to hold a baby while seated. You rest the back of your baby’s head in your hand and tuck their legs/feet under your armpit, just like you’d tuck a football. This position allows you to see your baby’s sweet face, and it’s excellent for breastfeeding as well.
Belly Hold
The belly hold is the complete reverse of the football hold. In this position, baby lies face-down on your forearm with their head in the crook of your elbow. Their arms and legs dangle while you support their stomach and pelvis with your hands (one or both, depending on your baby’s size!). As babies grow, this position can provide a fun version of tummy time.
Face-to-Face Hold (or, Lap Hold)
I always love a hold that lets you see your baby’s face. You can use the face-to-face hold either standing or seated. For both, support your baby’s head with one hand while leaning the rest of their torso along that same arm. If standing, prop their lower body on your abdomen. If seated, let most of their body rest on your lap.
Shoulder Hold
For the shoulder hold, lift your baby upright and hold them against your chest and shoulder. One hand should support their bottom, and the other their head and neck. (Be extra vigilant for infants who haven’t yet developed any head control.)
The shoulder hold is a popular position for burping baby, as well as allowing older babies to look around and engage with the world.
Seated Chair Hold
As your baby gains head control, a seated chair hold can be convenient for you and stimulating for them. In a seated chair hold, your baby sits in your lap facing outward and leans back against your torso as if sitting in a chair. Be sure to keep at least one hand on their body to prevent them from slumping over or falling due to a sudden movement.
The Hip Carry
Finally, for babies with full head control, the hip carry is a convenient classic that allows them (and you) more freedom of movement. Place your baby on your hip so their legs straddle your side and use the arm on that side to scoop under their bottom. Then, use your opposite arm to lightly support their back. This hold is perfect for babies who love looking around and engaging with the world!
Safety Tips for Holding a Baby
Besides learning how to hold a baby, it’s also important to keep certain safety tips in mind, especially for newborns.
Protect the Soft Spots
Newborns have two “soft spots” on their head where the skull bones haven’t yet fused together. This is normal. In fact, it’s an incredible design that allows babies’ skulls to shift and overlap as they move through the birth canal; it also makes room for their rapid brain development.
Despite being normal, the soft spots are vulnerable and need to be protected until they close. The posterior spot (on the back of the head) closes at around two months, and the anterior spot (on the top of the head) closes between 18–24 months. Remember, it’s best to leave these spots alone, and to guard them from anything touching them.
Wash Your Hands
Always wash your hands before holding a newborn. While one reason is that their immune systems are still developing, another is that they have an immature blood-brain barrier. This means a simple cold could potentially cross that barrier and cause a much more serious infection of the spinal fluid.
One particular ailment to watch out for is cold sores. The virus that causes cold sores can be devastating to infants. If you or someone else has an active cold sore, resist the temptation to kiss your sweet baby. Always be sure that anyone with a cold sore (including you) washes their hands thoroughly before holding baby.
In general, it’s best to avoid letting sick individuals hold your baby. If you’re sick, remember to wash your hands thoroughly and often.
Keep Movements Gentle
Avoid sudden or jarring motions, especially with a baby’s head. Whiplash-like movements can be harmful, even once babies gain better head control. Though we often see parents energetically bouncing babies on their knees on TV shows and movies, a gentle swaying motion combined with a cross-cradle or belly hold often soothes baby better and is much safer.
What if My Baby Keeps Crying?
It’s easy to feel worried when a baby cries, but remember: Crying is how babies communicate. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong; it’s simply how they let you know they have a need.
As a mom of five, I like to troubleshoot crying with a quick mental checklist of what my baby might be trying to communicate:
Diaper: Could it be dirty?
Burp: Could they need to release some gas?
Milk: When did they last eat?
Sleep: Newborns sleep a lot — often between 17-21 hours a day. Even after 45 minutes awake, sometimes they’re just tired and need help settling.
Babies don’t cry to manipulate you; they’re trying to tell you something. It might even be that they just need comfort to help them emotionally regulate. Over time, you’ll start to recognize their cues and what works best for them.
How to Hold a Baby: Final Thoughts
Holding your baby is one of the sweetest, most bonding experiences you’ll have as a parent. Whether you’re using the football hold for a newborn or carrying an older baby on your hip, the key is to find safe, comfortable methods that work for both of you.
And if you’re ever feeling unsure of how to hold a baby, just remember the basics: Support their head, hold them close, and trust yourself. You’re doing great!
Dawn Swendsen, CNM, MSN, APRN, is a midwife at Haven Birth and Wellness with 25 years of experience in women’s health. She has participated in nearly 1,500 births in diverse settings across the U.S. With a background in Labor and Delivery, NICU, OB-Emergency, and the Main Emergency Department, midwifery became a natural progression for Dawn. She is passionate about empowering women through education and shared decision-making.
Originally from the Pacific Northwest, Dawn now lives in Tennessee with her husband, Taylor, and their five children: Ezra, Lucy, Levi, Micah, and Jude. She enjoys running, camping, and outdoor activities.
Disclaimer: The content on the Haven Birth and Wellness website is created and/or reviewed by qualified Certified Nurse Midwives and healthcare professionals. We strive to provide accurate and detailed information for our readers. However, this blog is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice. Your own healthcare provider is best equipped to understand your unique situation and medical history. Always consult with your healthcare provider before making any decisions that may affect your health.